Oh for heaven's sake, please kill something!

It is the second day of archery season. My husband is camo-clad, scouring a mountain for cow elk, bow in hand. (Or he very well might be asleep under a tree somewhere in the middle of the forest. But I prefer to imagine the former.)

There is something unequivocally and undeniably sexy about the idea of my man killing an enormous animal. It's rugged. It's manly.

It's also, I'm starting to realize, unfair. He has managed to find a hobby that requires him to spend countless hours enjoying peace and quiet in the outdoors, away from whining and screaming and spilled milk, under the pretense of providing for our family and carrying on an important male tradition that is in danger of being lost.

From September to the middle of November he has the perfect excuse to leave me at home, spending my time arguing futilely with a two year old, scrubbing crayon from walls, vacuuming sand from carpet and force-feeding addition problems to my first grader while trying to fold laundry, make beds and attempting to find a way to make zucchini actually taste good.

Something about this set-up doesn't seem fair. Perhaps I ought to take up hunting.

In the meantime let's all say a prayer to whatever Higher Power may exist that he kills his enormous animal(s) quickly and doesn't have to be gone all hunting-season long.

Tear-free Salsa

Salsa is the first thing I tried to can, three years ago. I enlisted my husband to help and put Chloe in front of the TV for what ended up being an all-day process. It was a HUGE mess, it was a TON of work, and all I got from it was two stinkin' quart-size jars of salsa. I don't remember why, but I remember crying. Out of frustration, not from chopping onions.

I tackled salsa again today and I'm happy to report that I did not cry (except when I chopped the onions, but Cora hugged me and it was alright.) I now have nine pints of absolutely delicious salsa plus about a cup leftover to snack on with chips tomorrow.



That should be plenty of salsa until next year, along with the peach salsa I canned last month. Now if enough tomatoes would ripen at once so I could make a decent-sized batch of pizza sauce, I'd be good to go.

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I started digging today. My intention is to double the size of the garden, use it as landscaping, and really make a work of art out of our back yard. Step one is digging and removing the Bermuda grass from a 200-square foot strip.

I keep going back and forth on whether this is the best thing to do - it's going to divide our lovely, big backyard in half. But it will be pretty and will produce more food. My husband likes the idea, so I'm going for it. I promised I would try to do it without his help.

I have to jump up and down on the shovel three or four times to even get it in the ground, but I made a bit of progress tonight. I look forward to posting end-result pictures next summer (after it's been planted.)

I got Memed.

Thanks so much to Wendy at Greenish Thumb for tagging me in her meme!

Now I have to write seven things about myself. Do these have to be new ideas, things you don't already know? (Is there anything you readers don't already know about me?) Let's see...

1) I can still do the splits and I can still do cartwheels and round-offs. I proved it today in the back yard for my daughters, who were rather impressed.

2) I spend, on average, five and a half hours each day in the kitchen.

3) I wear an apron every day. I think everyone should wear an apron because they are just that fabulous.

4) I secretly think it's funny when my kids dress up the cat in sweaters, dresses, and hats, and try to feed him with a toy baby bottle. No, I lied. I'm quite open about how hilarious I find that. I also think it's perfectly fair that the cat torments the children while they sleep - the only opportunity he has to get the upper hand in fighting back.

5) I got "Mommy Time" today - my mother took the girls for an hour and a half. And it was really hard for me not to spend that time cleaning the house. I managed, I didn't clean a darn thing, but when I have "quiet time" without my kids my first inclination is to clean like there's no tomorrow.

6) I quit coffee yesterday and switched to green tea. Today was day two of success. I have a splitting headache, I'm exhausted and grouchy, but so far I'm still alive. If I can make it through tomorrow they say it gets easier. (Anyone who has ever seen my multitude of "quitting smoking" blogs knows how hard it is for me to quit addictive things. Two days is pretty darn exciting.)

7) I have the most fabulous, amazing, kind, understanding, patient, handsome, generous, reliable, trustworthy husband in the entire world. You're welcome to argue that point, but you're wrong.


And now for my tags :o)

1) Jan from Red Sock Mama - hilarity, fantastic photography and really great knitting - what more could you want from a blog?

2) Katey from Crazy Homeschool Mama - full of creativity, inspiration, and lots of cool homeschooling.

3) Kristin at Going Country - because she lives the same life I live except she does it on a real farm which is way cooler.

4) Dani at Adventure of Supermom - I've been watching her grow and develop her amazing mommy skills for six years (!) now.

5) Deb at Choirlady's Musings - I'm tagging her even though she hasn't blogged in forever because I MISS HER BLOGS! C'mon Deb, get to it already!

6) Kim at In my life, I love you more - because you can watch her kids grow day by day from all her great photos!

7) Carol at Frugal Finds - she's been at this forever, and no one has ever been more thorough. Always great if you're looking for great deals and freebies!

Here are the guidelines:

1. Link back to the person who gave you the award
2. Reveal the 7 things about yourself
3. Tag 7 other bloggers at the end of your post and link to them
4. Let each blogger know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.
5. Let the tagger know when your post is up.

THAT child.

My toddler has turned into THAT child. You know the one - the one you cringe at and want to protect your children from.

:::sigh:::

Okay. She's not that bad. She had "an incident".

My dear and new friend Katie came over yesterday with her two kids. Cora spent the afternoon playing mommy to her precious little six-month old baby girl. All was good and well - there is nothing that makes my little mommy happier than having a real baby to take care of and play with. And then, with no warning whatsoever, my adorable little toddler leaned over and ever so sweetly BIT the baby's finger. She bit her! That poor baby!

It wasn't malicious. I don't think she's a biter now... I hope. Oh, how I hope. I swear, she just wanted to see what happened if you bit someone's finger. (Why she couldn't test this out on her sister, who probably actually deserves it, I'll never know.) She felt terrible - I made sure of that. She knew what she did was wrong as soon as she did it and saw the reactions of both mommies and the baby.

I've been the Mommy on the receiving end of that though - someone once bit Chloe, totally undeserved. I didn't hold it against her too severely, but it did bother me a whole lot.

And then, to help me feel just a little bit better...

We're at Farmer's Market sitting in line at the face painting lady amongst many other small little girls and their families. Chloe starts jabbering to someone's grandma, telling her this, telling her that. Then she points to Cora and says, "That's my sister. She's two. She bit someone's baby today."

Two minutes later she's talking to someone else, someone who has a sweet little baby girl in a stroller. "That's my sister. She's two. She bites people's babies." The woman smiles that creeped-out, kind of scared sort of smile and backs the baby slowly away from my toddler's mouthful of teeth.

I really don't want to be the parent of THAT child. I hope I'm not already there and just still in denial. :o\

Party pics...

I'm too lazy to upload them all to Blogger too... but they can be seen on Facebook here.

Reasons I hate birthday parties.

1. I become convinced, within 30 minutes of the start of the party, that everyone thinks I suck.

2. I always make too much food, which means we eat party leftovers for a week. This year we had a luau - fruit and pork are on the menu, breakfast, lunch and dinner,for the next six days.

3. I hate it when people feel obligated to buy my child presents. I appreciate them, tremendously, but I still hate the way it feels.

4. I always worry about whether we will have enough people. And then when enough people confirm attendance, I worry about having too many.

5. I'm not allowed to get drunk if I'm the one hosting the party.

6. The day of the party I turn into "Hostess-zilla" and begin ordering my poor husband around as if he were a scullery maid, throwing mini- temper tantrums if he has The Nerve to sit down for a break or doesn't do something just as I might have, and then dealing with the guilt from my behavior afterward.

7. Decorating birthday cakes is akin to leg-hair removal by tweezers. It's tedious and painful.

8. Stress! Stress about everything! Stress about the people, stress about the food, stress about cleaning the house, stress about flippin' everything.

I SHOULD NOT THROW PARTIES.

That said, the party was pretty much a success. I'll post pictures tomorrow. :o)

I must be slow...

We're having a luau for Cora's birthday/my birthday tomorrow afternoon.

I was just sitting in the kitchen, drinking my morning coffee and working on the list of food to go and buy, writing things like "watermelon, cantaloupe, honeydew, pineapple, kiwi, strawberry, grapes...." Fruit. Fruit is Hawaiian, after all.

And as I was staring out the open window next to me, a little yellow jacket came and buzzed right against the screen, making me jump, and reminding me of an important fact that (amazingly) slipped my mind:

It is YELLOW JACKET SEASON here in Colorado. We are getting ready to have a party at which we serve MEAT and FRUIT all afternoon.

We are going to be eaten alive by yellow jackets, I just know it. I'm going to look like a dork running around screaming and ducking in my grass skirt and lei.

I bet they don't have yellow jackets in Hawaii.

Picnic!

I made the girls a "picnic snack" today. I've done it a few times now - it's tremendous fun.

I pack little bits of snacks that they don't always get and I hide them all wrapped up in napkins or in little containers so they get to open each one up separately and it's sort of a surprise. I put inside the basket dried papaya spears, crackers and peanut butter, dried apples, a handful of mini-marshmallows and as a special treat, a Hershey's bar I found in the cupboard. Add some cups and a bottle of water (that they get to pour themselves,) and some fancy clothes and hats, and it makes for a good time!




If I were a great mother - which I will never claim to be - I'd have sat out there with them while they enjoyed the treats, or maybe have even shared them.

But I'm not a great mother, so I took a handful of really great photos and then I escaped inside to enjoy 20 minutes of quiet while I watched them out the front window.

Restless...

Ugh! I'm so restless lately.

I've had a couple of hours every night for the past week or so all to myself, and I've not done a damn thing that's worthwhile. What's wrong with me?

I'm burned out on every hobby. I just don't feel like knitting. I'm not in the mood to scrapbook and every page I do try to finish turns out really blah and unimpressive. My garden is... well, it's pretty much self sufficient now. All I have to do is water it every night and pick the vegetables that are ready. There aren't many weeds to pull, there's not any planting to be done anymore... I've been reading, but just sitting and reading is so dull- I need something to keep my hands busy. And I just finished a book so I'm bookless until library day tomorrow. I'm overwhelmed with the number of unfinished projects in piles around me that I just don't feel like finishing.

I'm bored!

<~~~a statement that rarely comes out of my mouth. I need a project. A big project. A fun project. Something creative, inspiring, something new. Something that will make me feel accomplished when I finish it. And something that's not terribly expensive. Any suggestions? (Because really, I need a new hobby, don'tcha think?) === I canned tomatoes yesterday (without any more exploded jars, thankfully.) We made tomato sauce the old fashioned way: slave labor.
The basic recipe (for anyone dying to can their own tomatoes...) You get about a pint of sauce per pound of tomatoes. This is a rough estimate. It's not worth the work unless you have at least five pounds (in my opinion. You're welcome to form your own opinion.)

Peel the tomatoes - drop them in boiling water for 10 seconds, plunge them into ice water for a minute or so, then slit the skins and peel them off. It's not hard, but takes some time.

Squish out the guts - slice your tomato in half, use a paring knife to cut out the core. Then squeeze the tomato until all the gooey stuff and seeds come out (some seeds left in are okay.) Do this over a bowl, and expect a lot of random streams of tomato guts to go flying in every direction. Cover your hair and wear an apron (I'm not exaggerating.) If you're doing this with a six year old (as I was) expect giggles. Put the gutless tomatoes into a bowl (in front of your six year old, if you have one handy.)

Squash the tomatoes - using your hands, squeeze the heck out of the tomatoes over and over again. You could use a potato masher, or even a blender for really fine sauce, but that's not nearly as much fun. If you have a six year old, this is where you employ them. Tell her it's brains, to be eaten with worm noodles come wintertime. ;o) Squish and squash until you have a fine soupy concoction in your bowl.

Cook the sauce - put the squished brains... err, tomatoes... into a pot. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat and simmer for about 10 minutes.

There's your sauce. It's basically the same consistency as "Crushed Tomatoes" when purchased at the store.

To can:

Heat jars (Sterilizing is unnecessary based on the boiling time.)

Put 1 Tbsp lemon juice in the bottom of each pint jar (This is important!). Adjust for jar-size accordingly.

Fill jars.

Process in boiling water canner 40 minutes for pints. (Not adjusted for altitude.) Be sure jars are covered by at least 1 inch of water throughout processing time. Otherwise, you'll have to add on more time for any minutes that your jars weren't covered.

Tomatoes are a funny thing. They are scary to can and can cause botulism more easily than any other vegetable. If you open a jar later and anything at all seems wrong with it, throw it away. Better safe than sorry.

There you have it - canned tomatoes, from scratch. It's a lot of work, really, considering the price of tomato products at Wal Mart. But Great Value Crushed Tomatoes don't give you nearly the satisfaction as your own do. :o)

Adventures in homemaking...

Back when we went on our trip to Montana, my neighbor watered the garden for me. Except that they went camping too and didn't water for three days. My cukes all died except one pitiful plant. I think she felt guilty because she keeps coming over with bags full of cukes from her own garden for me. I don't hold it against her that my cukes died, but I do appreciate her kindness and generosity!

The other day she dropped off four enormous cucumbers - almost 6 pounds' worth. We can't eat six pounds of cukes even if we ate them for every meal, so I decided to make a batch of bread and butter pickles to be canned. I'll take a couple of jars to my neighbor to let her know we appreciate her!

Anyway, as I was pulling them out of the canner I noticed the water looked a little yellowish and cloudy - not normal. I pulled up the quart-sized jar I'd done and the pickles all fell out of the bottom. That's when I realized the bottom had cracked clean around and the bottom fell off of the jar.




I've never experienced anything like that before! Glad it wasn't an explosion or anything, though that's not common in boiling-water canning. It's either because the jar was old (probably acquired at a yard sale or something, and jars have a life of about 10 years) but could also be from a whole host of other reasons... I'm not terribly concerned, I doubt it'll happen again soon.

Now I've got to clean out the canning pot before I do the 12 pounds of tomatoes I've picked over the last week from our own garden. The canning pot is a mess:



I did manage to at least get four pints of pickles canned - won't last long, but they'll be yummy!



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I made a preemie hat for my dear friend Deb's new granddaughter, Mackenzie Danielle, born last week. She was born 10 weeks early: nearly the same as Chloe and seeing her pictures brings back so many memories! If you're a pray-er, or if you're interested in sending some thoughts of health and wellness, please do - Mackenzie's mama Meghan is still in the hospital with some lasting effects of pre-eclampsia. She could use some positive energy.

Here's the hat:




It's actually the second one but I forgot to take photos of the first. Chloe's preemie doll is the model. :o)

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Here's a pic of Chloe saving lettuce seeds for next year's garden:



And a photo of two busy little bees pollinating our pumpkin blossoms:



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One last bit of good news: Chloe's tooth finally came out this morning! And then she was walking around the house with it (who knows why) and dropped it. We managed to find it in the carpet though. YAY! for Chloe!!