Tuesday, January 26, 2010

The Secret Drug

I'm pretty sure knitting is like a drug.

Every time I have a knitting friend over, we will sit and talk for hours on end about every intimate aspect of our lives, needles clicking all the while. Inches of sweaters grow beneath our needles as we discuss first parenting troubles, then grocery budgeting, and eventually even relationships and sex. So long as our fingers are flying, all the secrets come out.

But this isn't only an adult drug - it works well with children, too.

Chloe and I spent nap time today sitting beside each other and
knitting- she on her doll scarf, me on the Never Ending Sweater. And we were talking. And as she got her rhythm, one stitch after another, row upon row, she started talking. First she talked about feeling shy sometimes, then went on to talk about how she feels when she's at her dad's* - a subject that has always been off-limits for her, something she likes to keep to herself. This mother-daughter relationship is growing by leaps and bounds because of an age old craft.

So if you ever wonder what your daughter is thinking, or want to hear any secrets she has, teach her to knit, then just sit by and listen as she pours her heart out. This is one drug I hope to employ for years to come... I just hope she doesn't give up knitting as a teenager - and that she doesn't figure out my secret!

*Nothing bad about her dad's house, just details she doesn't generally divulge.


Deb said...

Oh, YAY!!! How smart you are as a mommy!!! You are taking something that you both love doing, and turning it into something really safe & special, where she can open up to you about everything! You are too smart for words!

BTW, I thought her dad was out of the picture, living in Japan or somewhere...

Crazy Homeschool Mama said...

one nice thing about teenage homeschoolers they still think you are cool she probably will still sit and knit with you when she is 14 or even 18 :)

Julie said...

Oh Katey, that's good to know - I always worry about the teen years. It does seem like most homeschoolers are nicer to their parents though.

Deb - he's back from Singapore, though his wife and their two kids stayed. Not sure of the details. He's living with his mom, Chloe visits them every Friday. Thanks for the encouraging words. :o)

Life said...

I'm a terrible knitter. I'm hoping my babies will learn to love to crochet-- I want to try out your bit of wisdom!

Wendy said...

I can see how it could induce a great conversation. Sounds like she's really progressing with her knitting!

Just Me said...

I have tried teaching myself to knit, and I can kinda do it, but I could still use some pointer from someone who is really good. If you can ever get a chance to hang out, I would love some pointers from you.

It's great that you've found something to do together that gives you a chance to get her to talk so openly.