Tuesday, August 31, 2010

So I went hunting...

I think my husband fantasizes about having a wife that hunts. Always one to try to fulfill his fantasies, I went along with him for the first three days of archery elk season this year. I wasn't out to shoot anything, but just to come along and see what it's all about.

I got all decked out in camo. Camo on women is not attractive. I'm pretty sure Tiffany Lakosky is the only woman who can make camo look hot.

But anyway.

I got all decked out in camo and I trekked all over a mountain behind my husband. He's not one to stick to the trails, making it a less-than-easy hike. I learned quickly that I should stay several steps behind, after being whapped in the face repeatedly by branches he was pushing past. We whispered when we had to speak, we stood very still and listened a lot. I saw bugs bigger and scarier than any bugs I've ever found in my garden. I learned that just about every forest plant has thorns or stickers of some kind, and most of them really hurt when they get stuck in your socks. I saw mores species of mushrooms than ever before, making me really wish I'd had a mushroom field guide to take along. I learned that elk are highly elusive creatures. I experienced hiking up a mountain in the dark, sitting on the ground -in the dark- and learned to suck it up and just not think about what kinds of creatures might be crawling up my back as I sat there unable to see.

All of that was alright. I enjoyed the hiking, however strenuous it may have been. What I was not expecting - and did not enjoy - was the 'Sit Still and Be Quiet' part. I mean, I knew I'd have to do that. I just didn't realize how boring it was going to be. Two hours of sitting and watching nothing happen at a pond in the woods was enough to drive me to the edge of insanity. There are a lot of things I'm pretty good at. Sitting still for any length of time doesn't fall into that repertoire. Neither does being quiet. Both at the same time? Pure misery.

I'm glad I went along. It's nice knowing what he's doing while he's gone for a week at a time and then returns (hopefully) with a few hundred pounds of meat. However, I'm perfectly content to stay home and can tomatoes and wait for him to arrive with said hunk of meat. I'd love to get to watch him shoot something - not for the enjoyment of watching an animal die, but for the enjoyment of watching my husband do the one thing that thrills him more than any other. But I don't have the patience to Sit Still and Be Quiet long enough to ever see that happen.

So no, he didn't shoot anything while I was out with him. But he has the rest of this week, and a few of the days on his next week off, to shoot our yearly supply of meat, and if we're lucky, bring me a bear skin rug. I'm heading up tomorrow with the girls to hang out at his camp. We'll be of no use to him, and might actually make things more difficult, but I'll jump on any excuse to avoid housework and sit outside in the sunshine. Be back in a few days, hope everyone has a lovely week!


Anonymous said...

You deserve a "wife of the year" award!!! :)

Wendy said...

What an enlightening experience! How wonderful that you were able to go along. As usual, I laughed out loud as you recounted your day!

Crazy Homeschool Mama said...

men who hunt think camo is sexy on a woman....props to you for going with him...I haven't....yet