Saying Goodbye

It’s one of those hard lessons you hate to have to see your kids learn, and yet it’s not one that can be avoided when you raise animals.

We had to say goodbye to Jasper today. The first baby born on our little farm (aside from chickens) that just couldn't stay forever.

The girls knew we weren’t keeping him. We don’t need a bunch of little wethers running around. We keep animals that have a purpose (mostly) and castrated little boy goats running around don’t serve any real purpose aside from general entertainment. We have plenty of entertainment around here, entertainment that doesn’t jump fences to eat apple trees.

I honestly thought we were pretty lucky. The family that bought him wanted a little pet goat to keep their other little pet goat company. They brought a bag of animal crackers and banana chips for him and cuddled him and exclaimed over his cuteness. And they had a ten year old son. Jasper was particularly fond of ten year olds. He’s going to live on a farm where he can run free and eat weeds to his heart’s content. There couldn’t possibly be a better life for a goat… especially considering most wethers are sold for meat.

But all of that didn’t make it any easier. Littlest One collapsed into a sobbing mess in my arms before they had pulled out of the driveway. The Oldest disappeared, only to be found later up in a tree, hiding and sulking. Two hours later, she still hadn’t spoken, nor had Littlest One’s tears subsided. In fact, what were at first silent tears became full-blown wailing for awhile.

Seriously, the level of drama in this house over the past few hours could have put my girls in the running for Academy Awards.

I sincerely hope they feel better – and calmer – after a good night’s sleep. And I hope that the more animals we sell, the easier this gets.

The Reason Why.

Once upon a time, this blog was intended to document every little special thing that happened in our lives.

And then, our lives changed. Every little thing felt like such a big thing. It *is a big thing. It’s huge, and it’s exhausting, and it’s so special there aren’t words to put to it. And yet, in the scheme of things, it seems so normal I feel like it’s nothing to write about at all.

It’s been a long time since I’ve had internet access good enough to even try blogging. Mountain life, I suppose. And life has just happened – every day, something new, something huge or something small, it just keeps happening, and I can’t find the time or the need to put it into words.

And then tonight. I sat down with Two Little Girls and we flipped through scrapbooks. The books I kept through their Little Years, telling the story of each simple day, rejoicing in the simplicity. And I realized how many special things really are happening, that I’m just not rejoicing in. The Little Things. That’s what this blog is about. It’s not about huge events. It’s not about teaching or sharing important things… it’s about writing the stories of Two Little Girls’ lives, for them to remember later, for them to know how special each day was. I don’t have to have a reason for writing stories. They are reason enough. The Little Things that make them special, in a huge world where nothing seems unique. They are special enough as they are, and it is my job as their mama to remind them of just that.

This is a beautiful life they are living. It seems so huge and significant, and yet so mundane at the same time. But it’s their life, and our life, and it’s special one. One I want to keep writing about, one I want them to remember.

So I’ll write it. Exciting or not, I’ll write the stories. The stories that today seem so mundane, but that tomorrow might seem so special to them. This isn’t for anyone but for Two Little Girls. For the days I don’t want them to forget.