Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Golden Hair vs. Brown Hair - a rant.

Remember in the Little House books* when Laura slaps Mary for saying "Golden hair is lots prettier than brown," and then she gets a spanking for it? And afterwards, Laura asks Pa if he thinks golden hair is prettier, and then all is made better when Pa points out that his hair is brown, too.

I totally get it. There's something alluring about little girls with blonde hair and blue eyes. And at the risk of sounding biased, I think she's pretty darn beautiful too. But for heaven's sake, brown hair and blue eyes are just as pretty!

People comment on babies and children. It's what they do - especially old people. They love to tell you how blessed you are, how cute they are, how much fun you must have. And I love that.

What I don't love is when someone sees Cora and says, "Oh! What a beautiful little girl you have! Just look at those eyes! And her pretty golden hair! Well, aren't you just a precious little doll!" and then they look at my seven year old and say, "And hi there."

I used to think it was a little bit rude. Then I found it slightly more annoying. Now it eats at me and I get pretty darn worked up about it.

Yes, The Toddler has rather striking features, and blue eyes and blonde hair are considered "beautiful" in our society. Add to that the fact that two is a very cute age, clothes made for two year olds are absolutely adorable, and my two year old in particular is very good at doing cute things to get the attention of old ladies standing in long lines.

The Older One is seven. Seven is not a particularly cute age, and anyone who has a picture of themselves at age seven should already be aware of that. Seven is the first year of the Awkward Stage. It's also just about the age that little girls begin to develop certain sensitivities and insecurities. In my opinion, she's gorgeous and beautiful and perfect. But there are some things that a mom can say that just don't take the place of when others say them.

I wish people would keep their opinions to themselves sometimes. I appreciate the compliments and all, but I hate the way it makes my precious Oldest girl feel, and I can see in her eyes that it hurts more than just a little.

*We're still reading the Little House books, so please forgive me the constant references to them. At the rate we're reading them, I'll keep on making these constant references for the next three years.


It's Jan! said...

My claim to fame is that I have read the entire Little House series, out loud, four times! Each child, even though they listened to me while I read to siblings, chose those books when it was their turn to choose. I am anticipating grand children...and you can be sure I will read to them!

Oh, how I can identify with Chloe! I was the older, brunette sister. "Nuff said about that.

I've become such a Chloe fan over the years. Not only because she's beautiful (and we all know she is), but because she's so smart and incredibly funny. Everyone in my family has heard more than one Chloeism and looks forward to the next.

I know I spent a lot of time in a snit because my younger sister

It's Jan! said...

Julie...incomplete comment, obviously. never store your password and let a cat jump on your bed...things get sent before you are ready.

Don't post that, but relay my chloe comments to her. I'm one of her biggest fans!


Kim said...

ohmygoodness chloe is beautiful! you tell her that i said that too!

i have one brown-haired blue-eyed child and one blond-haired blue-eyed child too! variety is nice! funny thing is, people look at katie and ask where she came from. THAT annoys me sometimes.

Anonymous said...

I hear you! They do it to every older child, every time a new one comes along! My standard response is now, "Yes! We have TWO *Absolutely *Gorgeous little girls, and TWO *Very *Handsome little boys! We're very proud of and well-blessed with ALL of them." I was taught not to correct my elders, but I feel that this emphasis on pointing out the positives of *all of my children is good medicine not only for my babies, but also for the blind little old ladies.

Just Me said...

Chloe is beautiful. I think 7 is a cute age. And Chloe and Cora are both gorgeous.

Deb said...

For Chloe:

I think you are absolutely STUNNING!!! I love your smile, I love your sillyness, I love how smart you are, and I love how creative you are! Never forget how special you are, especially to your mommy & daddy. And to me too!