Poor Baby :o(

I know it's inevitable. She's a toddler - she will fall. But I don't have to like it.

This picture was taken a few hours after it happened. It was worse yesterday morning - I need to take more pictures. We've started calling her "bruiser". :o)


We were at the park this evening, playing on the playground. She usually just goes UP the stairs. This time she decided to go down... face first.

She hardly cried - maybe 15 seconds. Then she was pushing me away so she could get down and try it again. It looks so terrible though. I'm afraid to take her out in public - people will think I beat the poor child.

===

Can someone remind me that it is absolutely ridiculous to pay $50 for one skein of yarn? I need someone with some logic and reason to point out that I can make things that are just as pretty without spending that kind of money. On gorgeous, hand spun, hand painted blue-faced leicester yarn... and it's a big skein! 310 yards.

I must be going crazy. I'd never spend that much on yarn.

Oh, but it's so beautiful. And completely unique, one of a kind.

I should get out the roving I have and spin that and dye it. Except I'd spend that much in dye. Ahhh I must be crazy. :-) Absolutely NO justification for something like that. Right?

===

Miss Chloe informed me yesterday that she thinks she is lucky because she is homeschooled. :o) Since the first few weeks felt a little bit like pulling teeth, I was worried. But we're totally in the swing now, we have our little daily schedule and routine, and she's loving it.

She was looking at a book yesterday while I was knitting, and I wasn't really listening to her. She likes to "picture tell" with books, where she tells the story based on the pictures, not the words. But as I was knitting, I started hearing what sounded a lot more like actual words. "It was a fine day in the town of Chewandswallow..." And she was reading it, every word. Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs is not a Step 1, Dick and Jane kind of book. It's a real book, the kind an adult has to read outloud. Usually she's too intimidated by books with that many words on a page, but she really wanted to read that book. She did great - had to ask about a lot of words, but made it through. I am so proud. I just want her to love reading like I do.

Math is getting fun - we're learning about the 10's and 1's place in numbers. Kidney beans take the 10's place, lentils take the 1's, and she's really getting the hang of it. She's definitely math- and science-minded.

And the crafts! We've come to realize she does great with all of her reading/language/phonics first thing, and then a break while we do a craft before taking on math, science, and social studies. Today we're making cats out of soup cans, to be used as plasticware holders for her Halloween party next week. Black paint, felt, glue, and we'll have cute little cats. I'm excited. The internet is incredible for arts and crafts ideas - we could do a craft every day of our school year, and still have hundreds we didn't have time for.

Standard (and not so standard) playground chatter

If you have ever taken your small child out anywhere in public, you are aware that the standard question asked by all adults about your little cherub is "how old is he/she?" This is a general ice-breaker amongst parents at the playground, a topic of conversation in the Wal-Mart line, and a way for parents to generally compare their children's development and personality.

We were at the playground the other day, and a mom was playing with an adorable little boy, just starting to toddle around. I was enjoying watching him put so much effort into walking, and since I was sitting there with my almost-toddler myself, I thought I'd strike up a bit of generic conversation to help pass the time.

"Aww! He's adorable! How old is he?" The mother looked at me as if I must be entirely stupid. "One."

What kind of answer is that? Everyone knows that before a baby is two years old, his age should be measured in months. "One" is such a vague answer at that age. Obviously this woman was unaccustomed to being asked this Standard Question, which I can only assume means she has not made it out of the house with her child since he was born.

One the other end of the spectrum, there are definitely questions that are NOT standard, and should just not be asked. Some things are not any of anyone else's business.

Another day at the playground, two mothers were there with their four year old little girls, and my five year old was playing with them. We were sitting around just chatting, when one of the mothers says, "I know you!" That statement is generally enough to make my heart skip a beat. Please, please just don't say you know me from high school or StarTek. (A very rough time in my life. I was a teenager, and struggling with finding my identity. I don't like looking back on that now.) "Oh?" I say. "I'm afraid I don't remember you. Where do we know each other from?" "We worked at StarTek together. You were my trainer. But didn't you have your head shaved....?"

I smile, say yes, but that I've moved into a different part of my life now, thankfully.

Shortly after, she asked what my husband does for a living. I gave her the answer I'm sure she expected - the answer of 90 percent of all stay at home mothers in Grand Junction, CO: "Oil Field."

Her response? "My husband does too. How much does yours make in a year?"

I stared at her as though she'd suddenly grown a second nose. "I'm sorry, what?"

She looked at me like I was either stupid or deaf to have not understood such a clearly asked question. She certainly hadn't beat around the bush. "Mine makes 85 thousand." She had a very smug look on her face. At least no one can say she isn't proud of the man she married.

"Oh? That's really great...." I reply.

Who the heck cares how much money her husband makes? And who the heck thinks that's an acceptable topic of conversation on the playground? Good God, just ask me how old my kids are, and let's start there, lady.

Is it selfish...?

Chloe's two bottom teeth are about ready to fall out. I'm so excited for her, that's a huge milestone.

And I was anxious all evening that she'd lose them while she was at Mark's last night. I just don't think he deserves to experience that milestone, or any others, with her. And I don't think I should have to miss them on account of him.

Is that selfish?

Yes, he called, finally, a week or so ago. He told me he'd been out of town for work for three weeks, but that he'd called and left a message on my phone. I can't tell you how many times he's said that, but there's never any message. I told him "Verizon must really have something against you personally, since they never seem to deliver your messages to me, because I get every other message that is left." He didn't think that was funny.

I'm not sure if I blogged after he called that day or not. But suffice it to say, I ripped him a new one. I never stand up to him, I always just do whatever it takes to keep the peace. but that day I was really mad, and I finally let him have it. I think he was surprised.

So he had her Thursday night and last night, and is supposed to have her back at 9:30. Yesterday morning I told him to drop her off no later than 8:45, as school starts at 9:00 in our house. He dropped her off around 9:15. He has no concept of "on time" and that irritates me. We'll see how he does today. I'm sure he'll want her again tonight, and through Sunday, but it's not happening - I just have to make sure I have the courage to tell him so. :o)

FO's

This is a gift for Ashley's son Dalton. His first birthday is November 1st.

Modeled by my baby girl:

I'm really quite pleased with the end result. The scarf felt like it went on forever, but it was worth it. I just might have to make a set for Cora in girly colors.

Pattern: Striped hat and scarf set, Adorable Knits for Tots by Zoe Mellor
Yarn: NaturallyCaron.com wool blend, washable and super soft. I'm in love with this yarn, and it's totally affordable.
Needles: size 4 and 6 circulars

Took about 10 days' worth of knitting time altogether - 15-20 hours.

===

Anthropologie rip-off hat:

You can see the original that I copied here. No way would I pay $38 for a flipping hat. This one cost $7. :o)

The picture of me actually wearing it is the best true representation of the color.




Pattern: a mix of a few, but mostly Foliage (knitty.com) mixed with Headline News (Stitch & Bitch Nation) with some mods and tweaks and I just made up the band. I used antique buttons recently gifted to me by my great grandmother instead of their crocheted buttons. I like the little bit of extra color they give it.

Only took about 3 hours from start to finish. Foliage would make a great gift hat done in the chunky yarn size.

Seriously, go check out anthropologie.com if you haven't seen their stuff. They have the most gorgeous clothes. And most of them would be so easy to make. :o) Next on my list is a beret, and then maybe a bit of sewing so I have some tops and dresses to wear my cool accessories with.

I'm feeling selfish, and I'm making myself stuff instead of knitting Christmas presents like I should be.

Autumn :o)

It's definitely autumn. The leaves are finally changing and falling, and its cool enough to wear the sweaters I spend all year knitting.

Yesterday I made a big pot of soup, and boiled a chicken to make stock. The house smelled so good - just like fall.

I covered my garden Sunday night, thinking I'd protect it from a couple of cold nights since it's due to warm up again now, but my puny sheets didn't stand a chance against the cold - the dog's water froze, there was a thick layer of frost all over everything. My garden is, sadly, done, except for some spinach, lettuce, and beets that will hang out for awhile yet. I had a bunch of half-grown bell peppers and tons of green tomatoes, but I didnt' bother picking them because I thought I could save them a bit longer. Ah well. Now I can start ordering seed catalogs and planning for next year's garden. :o)

===

We had a big tree cut down yesterday in the back yard in preparation for putting up a new fence. Now I need to call around and get fence estimates.

===

We did a fun little fall project yesterday as part of Chloe's school. We walked around the neighborhood collecting twigs, bark, seeds and leaves from different trees. (In the meantime we met some sweet elderly neighbors from around the corner that I look forward to spending more time with.) When we got home with the leaves and such, we spread them out, matched everything up that went together, and used Modge Podge to glue them all to poster board. Then we made little "name cards" for each tree - an index card folded in half - and wrote the name of each tree inside. The ones we didn't know we looked up in a Field Guide for trees (and got sucked into looking at the book for awhile too.) Then each card was tacked onto the poster board so that you have to lift the card to see the tree name. It makes a sort of guessing game she can play with people who look at it. We call it the "lift & look tree book". Got the basic idea from a book called Organic Crafts, a book I got from the library but intend to buy.

===

I've been knitting and sewing a lot lately. Made the girls some cute little fall dresses, started a scarf for myself after seeing all the cute scarves when we were shopping in Denver, and started on a hat inspired by one I saw on anthropologie.com. I wish I had the camera, I'd takes some pictures. I guess I'll have to break out the old camera and see if it still works.

===

The keys on my keyboard are slightly sticky. I'm having an especially hard time with 'j'. I suppose that's what happens when children with sippy cups and sticky fingers are allowed to play computer games and watch videos.

Back from Denver

We got back Friday night from our quick little trip to Denver. We had a great time. The hotel room we booked on Expedia ended up being a one bedroom, fully stocked and furnished apartment. That was great as far as being comfortable while we were there instead of being crammed into one little room.

We visited the Zoo, the Museum of Nature and Science, and the Aquarium. All of them were great, but I think my favorite was the museum. We got there when they opened and left when they closed, and we were entertained all day long. They had a fun little area called the Discovery Zone where the kids could do all kinds of hands on things, and even Cora had a great time there. We also watched an IMAX movie: Africa, the Serengeti. I'd never seen an IMAX before, it was awesome.

At the Aquarium we got to touch sting rays, that was kind of neat. The zoo had all of our normal favorites - that's the third time, I think, that we've gone. With Chloe's love of animals, it just seems like a necessary stop whenever we're there.

Cora was amazingly good, except that she insisted that one of us carry her a lot, but hey, who wants to sit in a stroller for hours? Poor Andrew's arms are probably tired. :o)

On the way back home we stopped at the Outlet Village in Silverthorne, CO. Love that place. :o) I bought the girls matching Gymboree outfits, plus hairbows and socks, and only paid $40 for them. Still pricey, I suppose, for kid's clothes, but normally you can't even buy one outfit for that much, so I was happy. And they have horses on them, so I couldn't resist. I also got some stuff at the Carter's outlet and a couple of cute things for me at the Rue 21 store. I used to really hate shopping, but I'm really starting to love it. I am a firm believer in retail therapy. LOL

Anyway, I'd post pictures of our trip, but our camera is missing. We're fairly certain it's somewhere here, that it made it home with us, but no idea where it's at. Hopefully I find it soon - I find pictures to take on a daily basis.

===

So now we're back home, it's Monday, and we're starting two weeks on again. We didn't do any school with Chloe while Andrew was home (though she learned more on our trip than I could teach her in a few weeks!) We'll be picking up where we left off before and seeing how this two weeks on/one week off thing really works. Right now she's learning about greater than/less than symbols, sets of ten, we're still memorizing some words and she's starting to do better with double-vowel words. One of the mysterious pupae we've been finding hatched while we were gone - they're moths. It was neat, she came screaming into the living room because she was so excited about it. She let the moth go, but there are four more pupae left. I'm hoping she gets to watch one actually hatch. It's been a great lesson.

===

Last night was our first risk of frost this fall. Where did the time go? I can't believe how cold it's been. It's supposed to warm up a little bit, but then it'll go right back to being cold. I still have lots of peppers and tomatoes on the vines, so I covered that part of my garden for the evening. I'm not ready to be done with my garden quite yet.

===

I s'pose that's all for now. Lots to do this morning before little girls wake up!

Socks

I finally finished the jaywalker socks - a week or two ago, actually. I'm just a slacker. This pic was taken before they were washed and blocked so they're kind of lumpy looking.

Yarn: Regia Ringel
Needles: size 1 dpn's
I pretty much followed the pattern exactly, and love them. I like that the stripes don't entirely match - gives them a definite hand-knit, quirky look.


Stockings for Cora's Halloween costume (and hopefully to be worn at Christmastime too)


Yarn: Red Heart Supersaver
Needles: size 7 dpn's
Pattern: none, I just made it up as I went along. I turned the first heel after I'd had a few beers, so it's a little goofy, but oh well. :-)

===

Last night's dinner was stuffed peppers. Yum. And the peppers were from the garden, along with tomato sauce and dice tomatoes made from tomatoes I grew. It's so satisfying to be eating fresh, homegrown food. It also takes creativity. Really, what are you supposed to do with dozens of bell peppers? It's a shame they can't just get ripe one or two at a time, instead of all together.

Stuffed Peppers:

6 bell peppers
1 lb ground beef
2 cups prepared rice
1 cup tomato sauce
1 cup diced tomatoes
1/2 cup shredded cheese
spices

Brown the beef, then toss it in a bowl with the other stuff and mix well. Add whatever spices you like or have on hand. Cut the tops out of the peppers carefully, creating little pepper cups. Stuff the mixture inside, bake for 45 minutes at 350, until peppers are soft.

The recipe makes lots more stuffing than you need to stuff 6 peppers. Put the rest in a ziploc bag in the freezer, and it can be thawed to have stuffed peppers on a busy night when you don't feel like cooking. :-)

===

I also have an obsession with food preservation. I canned 5 pints of bread and butter pickles the other night with cukes from the garden. Altogether I've probably canned about 30 quarts of food this year, and we haven't done apples yet and I still want to do salsa. The girls love snacking on canned peaches mixed with yogurt, Chloe eats pickled asparagus like it's going out of style, and we eat peanut butter and peach butter sandwiches all the time now. There's just something so satisfying about feeding my family things I've made like that.

The list of canned goods:
Peach salsa
Peach butter
Sliced peaches
Peach halves
Pickled asparagus
Bread and butter pickles

That might be all.... Not to mention all of the green beans, corn, and pesto I've but by in the freezer.

===

My honey is off for the week again. I'm letting him sleep in now, at least a little. There's much to be done over the next two days, and then we're heading to Denver for a field trip/family getaway.

First steps

Kid pics

I still maintain that we are the owners of the best, most patient dog in the whole world. The baby is constantly climbing on her, sitting astride her, or otherwise tormenting her, and she takes it all in stride.


And she even tolerates playing dress up.
Silly baby was very sleepy.
This was the night she tried to escape by going under the fence... her skirt got stuck so she crawled right out of it.
Can anyone identify this mysterious creepy crawly? We found it in the garden. It's now living in the Bug Barn. I'm pretty certain it's a larvae of some sort, but not sure what. Love how random digging in the garden produces homeschool science projects. :o)
This is what dish washing looks like in our house... Cora's quite the helper, or so she thinks. (Why is the child washing dishes in her underwear? don't ask. She'd happily never wear clothes if it wasn't a social requirement.)

Guess who has a loose tooth? Actually, two loose teeth, as we discovered tonight. I'm so not ready for this - I thought we had a year or two still until we got to this point. It's such a big thing - such a grown up thing - to lose teeth. She's thrilled, of course, and wiggles it constantly to try and get it out.
Littlest Miss, "helping" in the garden. Unfortunately, she is not able to distinguish between RED and GREEN tomatoes. That's alright though, she has a great time.
Big sister showing Cora how to make the perfect mixture of mud.

Recent Chloe-isms:

"Ignoptious" - Something along the lines of obnoxious, I think.

"I'm afraid of high climates" - not heights, high climates.

Chrain, Chree - She wrote these words for me when we were practicing spelling. I had no idea she was even pronouncing them wrong, but when I corrected her and said "train" and "tree" she was surprised. :o)

A conversation between my daughter and her friend, in stalls at a public restroom today:

Tori : "Chloe, are you done?"

Chloe: "No, I'm making a turd."

Tori: "Mom, what's a turd?"

Ashley (trying desperately not to laugh): "It's poop, Tori."

Tori: "You mean like boy poop?"

Ashley (failing miserably at the attempt not to laugh) : "No, just poop. any kind of poop."

I love children. :o)

Five year old fear

Chloe is afraid of EVERYTHING. Well, not everything - she's not afraid of bugs like I am. :o) But she has a lot of fears that don't make much sense, and really frustrated me and put a damper on our lives.

When I took her to the fair, she was afraid of pretty much every ride. She's terrified of heights, which means she's been rescued from playground equipment several times. The other day we went to Michael's, and we had to walk near the Halloween decorations. She screamed so loud I'm sure the other customers thought I was actually murdering her right there in the store. We had to leave, she was really scared of them. She informed me that day that she doesn't want to go trick-or-treating this year because she doesn't want to see scary decorations. She just wants to stay home on Halloween.

She doesn't sleep in her own bed because she's afraid there are monsters. She's afraid of the dark and won't go in the hallway at night if the light is off. She's afraid of balloons so much that she won't go to parties or into a party store. She's afraid of the swings at the playground, and if someone on our swingset swings her too high she's in tears and won't play again. There are a lot of times she ends up sitting with me instead of playing with other kids because she's afraid of playground equipment - especially the kind at McDonald's. She doesn't complain about not playing, and she enjoys watching the other kids, but she just sits there, and it makes me sad for her.

I've been worried lately about all of these fears. I know that when you're five, it's hard to distinguish real things from pretend things (the Halloween decorations, fear of monsters, etc.) It just seems like she's more afraid than most kids are, of a lot more things. I don't want these fears to stand in her way of really enjoying life.

Last night I was flipping through "Love for a Lifetime" by James Dobson, a book I bought for my sister-in-law. There's a section where he talks about divorce statistics (which really are terrifying) and talks about the effect of divorce on children. One statistic said 90% of children that are the product of a divorce have irrational fears.

Hmm... I wonder if that's a part of it.

He also claimed that after 3 years, most fathers no longer visited their children. It's been almost a month now since Mark has called to talk to or see Chloe. I've been worried about that too - am I supposed to call him? Ask him what the f* he is doing, abandoning her this way? It's not like I want him in her life - I hate the things she learns from him, the influence he has on her. But he is her father, after all, and she knows it and asks often why he doesn't call or come pick her up anymore.

It was my hope that having Andrew in her life would make the divorce easier, somehow. She still has a man in her life, a father-figure, that loves her very much and is a good influence on her. We do things as a family now, whereas when I was married to Mark, we didn't. But even though he's a better father, Andrew won't replace Mark, not in her heart, not in her mind.

I think now that she's a little bit older, she's capable of putting two and two together, she understands a lot more than she did when she was three, and she's thinking her own thoughts on the subject. Unfortunately, she doesn't want to or doesn't know how to share the thoughts with me.

I hate that she's in the middle of this, that she has to deal with having a mom and dad who are divorced. It's not fair to any kid. I think at the time, she handled it so well that I was convinced it wouldn't be that difficult of a transition. But now, two and a half years later, it seems to be catching up with us, and I'm not sure how to approach it all.

Any advice? Should I call Mark and ask him what's going on, or just let him fall away from our lives? Do I coddle her and comfort her when she's afraid of silly things, or should I push her to get over the fears? :::sigh::: Poor kid.