Crackin' Coconuts

Chloe wanted a coconut at the grocery store. Well, either that or a bag of cherries. Coconuts were $1.50 each as opposed to $6 a pound for cherries. So a coconut it was.

When we got home, we had to figure out what to do with it. I Googled "how to open a coconut." I came across a site that informed me just how easy it really is to do. All you have to do is take the blunt side of your machete and smack the coconut a few times. Right, so let me just go grab my machete real quick and we'll get right on that.

I tried my kitchen chopping knife. Amazingly, I didn't break the knife. I didn't break the coconut either.

So we drained out the juice - the easy part - and then I took matters into my own hands. I took that sucker outside on the porch and bashed it against the corner of the concrete step. And do you know what happened? That darn coconut bit me! It cracked just enough against my poor, defenseless little pinky that it pinched the heck out of it and wouldn't let go. After freeing my finger, I went inside, got a tea towel, wrapped it around the coconut and gave it my best thwack against the step. And poof! It cracked right in half.

Yeah, so I thought the hard part was over. That internet site said all I had to do was freeze it for 30 minutes and the flesh would peel easily away from the shell. Well, I'd hate to see what it's like unfrozen if they call that easy. Another half hour of work and I finally had two empty halves of a coconut shell, and a bowl full of chunks of coconut flesh. Chloe and I both tasted some. We then promptly spit it into the sink. Yuck. What the heck am I supposed to do with all that raw coconut now?

I called my sister in law. They're supposed to be good with raw fruits and veggies, after all. She told me there really is no use for a coconut. She admitted that they taste terrible, unless you get one and eat it in a tropical place, like Hawaii. Well, that's useful.

So if anyone has any suggestions on how to use a bunch of raw, unpeeled coconut, please do tell. I hate to waste it, but that stuff tastes awful. I like the sweet kind - you know, the grated stuff you find on frosted cake doughnuts. This is definitely not the same.