Surviving... (lots of rambling)

I seem to be surviving so far. At least, I think I am. :-)

The house is clean, the girls are happy, Chloe is played with, the baby is fed, and I've even managed to shower two days in a row. By the end of the day I'm exhausted, my mind is racing a million miles an hour, and I've consumed at least 6 cups of coffee, but hey, at least we're all taken care of, right?

I've snapped at Chloe a few times when she didn't really deserve it... my patience level drops quickly when she repeats herself a million times as if I haven't heard her. "Do you want to play with me?" is what we hear most often out of her. Yesterday while the baby was crying and I was trying to calm her, she kept asking me to play with her. I explained twice that I needed to take care of Cora first and then I would play, but she just kept asking "Do you want to play with me? Do you want to play with me?" Finally I just said "No! I dont' want to play with you right now." Then I felt bad, and her feelings were hurt. :o( I really need to work on my patience level with her. Today we're going to the library and I'm gonna let her stay later than normal to play with the other kids.I know she's just lonely and needs the interaction.

Cora's doing well. I can't decide if she's a fussy baby, or if most babies cry this much - I just don't remember. If she's awake though, she seems to be fussy more than she's happy. The trick is to hold her on your arm (the Daddy hold) and walk, not to slow, not too fast, and not to stop moving, all while patting her bottom in just the right rhythm. The only problem is that it makes it nearly impossible to do anything else. I put her in the sling last night to try it out, and she seemed really happy there for quite some time, long enough for me to get dishes washed, help Chloe pick up all her toys, and get Chloe ready for bed. Hopefully the sling will continue to be acceptable, so I can keep getting things done. She apparently hates the swing, the bouncer, the playmat, or anything else I have to entertain her with.

The house is all pretty much in order, amazingly. At some point in the morning Cora takes a nap for a couple hours, so I use that time to go through and at least accomplish my normal morning routine plus a few extras, like organizing a cabinet or desk here and there. Laundry is staying caught up, the dishes are usually washed, and everything is mostly in it's place. In addition, I've managed to do schoolwork both days with Chloe, as well as playing Barbies, animals, pretend, etc. with her.

I feel bad about my playing with Chloe. I always thought I'd love the day I got to play Barbies with my daughters. Now that the time is here, I just don't really like it all that much. It feels more like a chore than it does like playing. I'm not sure why that is. I often sit down for ten minutes, play, and then get up to do something else because I'm bored and restless, and there's always so much more to do. I keep trying to remind myself it won't be long before she doesn't want to play Barbies anymore, heck, before she doesn't want to play with me at all anymore! I need to learn to live for the moment more, to enjoy the little things, and spend less time worry about 'getting stuff done'. I'm a results-oriented person though, and that can be hard for me.

I've learned that with two children and a houseful of chores, knitting and other crafting doesn't get as much time anymore. I get approximately 15 minutes of knitting time each day, at night after both girls are asleep. I could probably squeeze in more, but by 9:30 or so I'm so exhausted I can't even focus on the stitches anymore. So I figure at this rate, Andrew's sweater should be finished about this time next year. LOL I have managed to make 3 wool soakers for Cora over the past two weeks, but that was mostly with Andrew home. Still need to put a leg cuff on one of them and haven't found the time to do that yet!

I'm a little nervous about how well my body is healing... they say you shouldn't continue to bleed red blood past a certain point, but every morning that's what I find. It slows down by the end of the day, but it's pretty heavy in the morning. They also say if you start to bleed red again that you need to slow down and stop doing so much, which is pretty near impossible for me. Things at least aren't really sore down there anymore, I can walk without much difficulty. I've been doing crunches and leg lefts and side twists and squats and such, trying to get my belly back to normal, so my abs are a little tender, but it's bearable. Amazingly, I'm back to my prepregnancy weight already - not that my prepregnancy weight was anything I want to brag about. LOL I just need to figure out how to tighten up all the loose skin hanging off my belly. It's so gross. I know how to burn fat, but how do you get rid of extra skin? Blech!

Alright, I'm done rambling. So much going through my head I can't really keep up! I'll write more later when I actually have something to say.