Oy vey. All week long I've been exhausted to the core by evening, but I'm more than exhausted right now. Not sure the word, but it's been a rough afternoon.
All was well till Cora woke up at four from her long nap, and then everything kinda fell apart. She's usually okay as long as I'm up and moving and she's in the sling - it's as soon as she realizes I had the nerve to sit down that she starts crying again. So I managed to make Chloe a peanut butter and banana sandwich for dinner, and made some macaroni and cheese out of a box for myself. (What will I do when Andrew is home in the evening and I have to cook real dinners again?!) So I made dinner with her in the sling all the while. Of course, I'm not permitted to sit down and eat, so I managed to get down about half a bowl in between strolls through the kitchen. In the meantime, Chloe was playing with the dog in the living room, when all of a sudden she screams something about "Izzy eating Andrew's chair." Yep, she was right. Something possessed our usually well-behaved dog to chew off a corner of the arm rest on the recliner. Lovely.
So Chloe starts coloring, I wash dishes, straighten up, fold laundry, etc. with Cora in the sling. All I wanted was to sit, but the only way she's happy is if I'm walking, so I figured at least get some stuff done. After awhile, it occurred to me I had no movie to watch tonight (it's become a nightly ritual) and I had no more yarn for the project I'm currently working on. I'm not sure I could survive a night of just walking around in silence without something occupying my hands, so I decided a trip to Blockbuster and Michael's was in order. After all, Cora's happy as long as I'm moving, right? She actually was pretty good. So we get to Blockbuster, grab the first movie that looks decent, stand in line halfway til forever and then try to check out. Do I have my card? No, I don't - I never got one when Andrew added me to the account, but it's never been an issue in the year and a half I've been renting movies there. Will an ID work? Nope, not anymore apparently. Awesome. I was really pissed. A lot more upset than the situation called for. I'm blaming it on hormones. But I held it together, got the girls back in the car, and headed to Michael's. Thankfully there were no issues there.
I would like to say though, that over the past few days, I've realized what a wonderfully behaved little girl Chloe is. She has her moments, but she's just been awesome every time we've gone anywhere. Makes me think there is hope for me as a mother yet.
So anyhow, here we are, a couple hours later. Chloe got her bath, had her milk and cookies, we had a spelling/letters/phonics lesson using fridge magnets while I paced the kitchen with Cora in the sling. I'm currently sitting here with her attached to me still, she just hasn't realized that I'm sitting yet. It's coming, I know, so I better hurry up and finish venting. :-P Every so often she does the whole "Look Mom, I'm so hungry I'm actually eating my own hand" thing, so I put her to breast, where she proceeds to lick my nipple a few times, crunch it between her gums a few times, then spit it out and look at me like I've done something utterly offensive and lets out another wail. She's not hungry - she's drained both sides at least 4 times in the past two hours.
Hopefully she'll fall asleep for real sometime in the next hour or so. My back hurts from all this slinging, I have muscles that haven't been used since Chloe was a babe. I really need to finish folding laundry, I haven't showered and I have baby puke in my hair, I'm still hungry, having never finished my pathetic excuse for dinner.... but mostly, I'm just exhausted.
Dejected. i think that's the word for how I feel right now.
It's been a rough afternoon, I need to go to sleep and wake up to a fresh, new day.
Thanks for letting me whine, back to your regularly scheduled programming!
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