Thursday, January 10, 2008

His, Mine, Ours

If you were a knitter or crocheter, and had like 7 balls of this stuff, what would you do with it? I know a baby blanket seems like the most logical answer, but Cora doesn't need blankets and I'm really just not a blanket maker. But then, she doesn't really NEED sweaters anymore either, or hats or anything else. My aunt bought it all, decided she didn't like knitting with it, and gave it to me. Thought I'd ask for suggestions. :o)

Today's mostly just gonna be a get stuff done day. Mark was supposed to have Chloe last night through tomorrow morning but called last night and asked if I could keep her. He said he'd pick her up sometime this morning (which usually means LATE morning) so I can't go to the store until he gets here, for fear of missing him and making him mad. Ugh. I need to pick some stuff up for Chloe's party on Saturday. I'm excited, I think it's gonna be lots of fun. I also need to vacuum and sweep and mop the floors, clean out the fridge, dust and get cobwebs down. And then tomorrow I'll make her cake (a lion) and get the house decorated probably, so that I can make some snacks and such on Saturday morning before our guests come.

It's been a long time since I haven't had Chloe... Mark didn't take her last Thursday either, or New Year's, so I think the last time I didn't have her for a whole day was... maybe Christmas Eve? I look forward to the break, as it's a chance to get stuff done and relax (and actually think without having to constantly listen to her chattering) but as soon as she's gone, I'll miss her terribly. What a goober I am. :oP


So I was talking to my brother in law's wife on the phone a week or so ago. (Does that make her my sister-in-law by marriage or something? I dunno...) Anyhow, we aren't terribly close, but she is very nice. I always feel awkward talking to her, probably because I hate being on the phone and always sound like a dork.

So she was talking about borrowing money from her husband to buy something she wanted. She is a (mostly) stay at home mom. She does Kindermusic one day a week, which doesn't bring in a whole lot of extra cash, I'm sure. I guess it kind of shocked me. In our relationship, everything is kind of ours, I don't borrow money for stuff. I ask sometimes if it's more than I'd normally spend, to make sure it's alright, but I don't have to pay him back. But yeah, she said she had just finished paying her husband back for whatever money it was that she'd borrowed, and that it made her happy. Am I the only one that finds that strange? Or maybe I'm the one that's strange, and I should see my husband's money as his since he's the one that works for it?

Being a stay at home mom is tough in that regard. The only money I ever have is Chloe's child support, and that all goes to her - either things I buy for her, education, fun trips to do things, or into her savings account. Anything that I want, Andrew pays for with his paycheck. Most of the time though, I feel like I earn it. I work 16 hours a day plus 8 hours on call, I cook, clean, transport, teach, raise children... it's pretty full time, I'd say. And Andrew and I both believe firmly that a mother's place is in the home with her children. There's never been any question there.

But sometimes it really would be nice to have my own money. Money that I could buy anything with... if I wanted to buy a $25 skein of cashmere yarn, I wouldn't have to feel guilty about it if it was my own money. Or at Christmas time and his birthday, I could buy him gifts with MY money, instead of spending his own money on him, which is pretty goofy. I think it's something all stay at home moms struggle with to some extent. Especially in today's world, when women are really expected to work and 'pull their own weight'.

ah well. It doesn't bother me enough to go out and get a job and let someone else raise my kids, so I guess it's not that important of an issue, eh? :oP

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hun, there is absolutely nothing odd about you feeling "ours" about money. No matter who brings in more money, Micah and I have always thought of it as our money not his or mine. That's how it should be with a committed couple. I think it's really weird that she "borrows" money to buy things from her husband and has to "pay him back". And whether a mom has a paying job, or not, being a mom is absolutely full time.